Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
