I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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