woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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