he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
