he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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