What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
