guys are only as good as the porn they watch
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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