Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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