Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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