I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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