She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
