Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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