Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
