I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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