I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
