the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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