My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
