When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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