Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
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