Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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