May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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