Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
