I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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