I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
