we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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