I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she peed on how many people?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
