he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
