its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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