I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
