I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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