they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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