Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
