I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
