God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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