I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
