Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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