Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
