i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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