I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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