Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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