I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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