angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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