I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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