What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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