Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
