I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
