Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
