I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
