A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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