Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
