If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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