you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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