If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize