Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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