Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
