And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You took a bar mat shot.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
